Advice On How To Stop Self Harming
Years ago i used to self harm a lot, cutting. Many people are uncomfortable with this subject, but it needs to be talked about for the people who need help. Many don’t understand or are even aware of such a thing. People can also be rude, like pointing and saying “WHATS THAT ALL OVER YOUR ARMS”! It’s also hard when its kids that notice it because they don’t understand and parents often don't correct them asking or making them stop. I use to not say much, but I found that the best thing to say is “I don't feel comfortable talking about that”.
I’m glad i stopped, but the scars still remain and people have questions. Here is something people are not taught sometimes though. If you see someone with an injury, even when its not self harm, its often uncomfortable for them to talk about it, especially with some stranger. If there is a burn victim and it was very traumatizing for them, its often uncomfortable for them to talk about. People can catch you off guard and they act like it’s their mission to know what happened. Cutting may not be the same thing as a burn victim. But the point is, its important to understand that its a sensitive topic and please do not be rude.
As for the people who still struggle with harming themselves, here is some advice to make it stop.
The strongest thing that made me stop self harming is that i realized it wasn’t solving my problems. It was only temporary. It actually created more problems. It is a cry for help but it also gives us control over what we are feeling. Or at least thats what it was like for me. Sometimes it was because I was numb or didn't want to feel my pain. It’s important to know that its ok to feel your feelings. They are valid. We need to cry, we need to process our emotions and not burry them. Suppressing trauma and emotions just makes things worse. And please don't punish yourself for having feelings.
Distract yourself and find another outlet. It is helpful to distract yourself with something else. This can be a hobby or something you like to do. Even tv or video games. Exercise is a good one. For me I also like to draw or create things. Creating things or expressive therapy is a good way to channel and get out our emotions. If you need more guidance, than maybe something like art psychotherapy, journaling or other expressive therapy with a therapist may be more beneficial to you. When you feel like self harming, replace it with something healthy.
Rubber band alternative. Some people may find this odd or that it doesn't work for them, but it works for me when i have those self harm feelings again. Have a rubber band or a hair tie on your wrist. Instead of self harming, snap the band n your wrist. This is a lot better than cutting or hurting yourself. It doesn’t leave a mark or anything. If this doesn’t work than maybe you can draw on your self too.
See a therapist or talk to someone. Maybe you just need to tell someone how you feel or have help. Find the right therapist or fit for you can be very beneficial to your metal health. Or you can also see a psychiatrist for medication that can help manage emotions and suffering. Spending time with loved ones or pets is also helpful. Cats have been very comforting for me.
Seek spiritual help. If you are a spiritual person, talking to Jesus or angel buddies can be very comforting and they can help you. Their presence alone is so peaceful and comforting. Participating in spiritual talk or practice is the most powerful for me. I recommend meditation and centering yourself. Mediation helps me to better process my emotions and find solutions. I recommend both prayer and meditation.
Overall all, it’s important to know that this process is not over night. It took me a long time to stop self harming. I started vey young, about 11 or 12, and it took me until i was about 23 or 24. What you might notice on this journey is that the self harming slowly dissipates or becomes less severe. This is a good sign that you are healing. Don’t give up!
If you are worried about someone who is self harming, the best is to be there for them and make them feel like they can feel open to talk to you. Don’t shame the self harming or take away utensils. Sadly, if you take away the object that they are harming with, they are just gonna find a new one and it could be worse. My advice it to maybe help them express their feelings in a different way and let them know that its ok to fell their feelings. They need to learn to better process emotions. Be honest with how much you care, assure them that you’re here for them. Do fun things with them and introduce them into new hobbies or interest. Stay strong and keep faith! 💜